My Nervous System Toolkit For When Everything Is Falling Apart

The physical, mental, audio, wellness tools that keep me sane. Not an ice bath in sight :)

Feb 18, 2025

Welcome to Figuring It Out, Edition #5 for 2025—your go-to corner of the internet for curating a beautiful life, inside and out. If you were forwarded this or found it via a comment you can quickly and easily subscribe below!

🎥 Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy: You know a movie is truly well-written when it can make you laugh out loud and cry—multiple times over two hours. This one is one of those rare gems: a sequel done incredibly well. Definitely check it out for major comfort viewing, and if you’re a fan of the series (and the books), don’t miss Pandora Sykes' accompanying podcast as part of the press launch—what a genius move.

📺 La Dolce Villa, Netflix: I must be on a comfort content tear, but hey, that’s where we’re all at collectively, right? I put this cute movie on as background noise while working but couldn’t help falling straight into the classic what would my life be like if I moved to Italy and renovated a villa daydream. La dolce far niente (the sweetness of doing nothing) is a mantra to live by.

🎧 Rise with Roxie with Dr Tara Swart: I love listening to Dr. Tara Swart because she makes neuroscience easy to understand and always shares actionable tips and hacks to support your brain. This episode is no different, covering everything from dating to manifesting to redefining success on your own terms. Plus supplements and foods for brain-gut health!

A lot has hit me since 2025 started. I know, I know. The whole world feels that way.

To give you a running list though, my phone was stolen straight out of my fluffy coat pocket while I was getting on the Tube in London. I lost my AirPods when I landed back in Australia. My Kindle was left behind in a hotel room, never to be seen again. I overspent on a cap for my sister-in-law (after magically getting my mitts on the last limited-edition one in the store!), only to lose it later that day. Then my tyre blew on the motorway at 80 kph. I was so close to driving on the rim as I tried to find somewhere to pull over.

Still, I say all that, and good things have happened as well. Gifts, bonuses, and opportunities have all come my way without having to hustle and force things like I used to. It’s been eye opening to watch these ups and downs and not take them personally, almost feeling distance as though I was watching them happen but not taking them personally.

My friend Sara said to me with a hint of suspicion and surprise, with everything that’s happened, “you’re surprisingly handling all of this very well.” There was a question mark at the end of it - how and why. And she was right, I was exhausted but not rattled. In the past, this litany of unfortunate events would have triggered an internal monologue of relentless self-criticism:

You’re so careless.

So-and-so would never have let that happen—why can’t you be more like them?

You don’t value your possessions.

You need to take more care—you should have predicted this.

Why me? What did I do to deserve this?

How can I ever afford to spend all of this money to replace these things?

Something shifted in me late last year. After spending my whole life alert, on the move and on edge, my nervous system finally felt calm. Safe and secure, practically 24/7.

Growing up in the Girlboss era meant I spent years hustling—moving to America only amplified this belief and behaviour tenfold—only to wind up unhappy, exhausted, and never truly getting what I wanted with every rung I climbed on an invisible ladder.

Once, it even led to a panic attack while climbing the Sydney Harbour Bridge. I don’t have a fear of heights, but at the time, I’d been experiencing breathlessness for two months—my main symptom of anxiety. That panic attack pushed me past my window of tolerance and left me in a hotel room alone for two days because every sound felt like sensory overload, food made me feel sick and even watching Netflix was too much for my brain to handle.

So, needless to say, I have a lifetime of experience of living with a nervous system that’s always on edge. Always ready to pounce.

Here are the fundamental things that make up my Nervous System Toolkit. The ones I rely on to stay calm, sane, and less triggered. The things that help me move through the ups and downs of life without them looking - and feeling - like a roller coaster. They function to smooth out the to-do list, the tests and the challenges, bringing me back to a baseline where no matter what is going on around me, I can handle it.

Infrared Saunas

As an insomniac who has never taken a sleeping pill, I’ve tried a lot of remedies. My insomnia is mostly under control but flares up under stress (for example, five years of living in America). When I’m going through a period where I really need a good night’s sleep, I book into an infrared sauna session (at City Cave for me), which guarantees I won’t wake up at 2 a.m. Personally, I don’t need any scientific studies to prove they work, I just know my mind and body are quieter once I walk out.

Magnesium Glycinate

OK, go and check whatever magnesium supplement you’re taking. I’ll wait.

…Does the label say magnesium glycinate? Or is it magnesium citrate? (or even magnesium malate for that matter)

I’ve become something of a magnesium influencer among my friends after my local compounding chemist gave me an impassioned TED Talk on the different types of magnesium. Apparently, if you want to sleep well, you need magnesium glycinate for the best results, along with potassium, zinc, and calcium. This version will have you sleeping like a baby, and is absolutely top shelf compared to Swisse Vitamins or CALM at Whole Foods. (You’re welcome.)

Legs Up the Wall

The best part of a night-time routine is how fun all the little rituals feel. They don’t feel like chores that mean if I tick them all off I’ll be successful in life, but like tiny moments of calm contentment. Lying on my bed with my legs up the wall is the perfect, free, effortless way to signal the end of the day. It calms me down after running around, and I can usually multitask—combining it with a meditation or DI, my red-light mask, or reading my book while my circulation system circulates.

Tea

The power of tea is well known to anyone who has ever lived in a country that was once part of the British Empire. Because it’s not just the tea itself. It’s the ritual of making it, sitting down to enjoy it, and hitting a mental reset button in the process.

I’ve always found that the higher the quality, the better the experience (this brand is my absolute favourite). Making a stovetop tea like the Dishoom chai I’ve previously mentioned takes it a step further—it becomes an experience, not just a drink.

To Be Magnetic DI’s

At this point, I’m probably mentioning To Be Magnetic in nearly every issue, but honestly, that’s how much it’s a part of my daily life. It’s like coffee and water, necessary for survival. What I love about these is that I there is usually a tangible outcome on the otherside of them. After 15 minutes of doing a DI (a “Deep Imaginging”) that focuses on a specific trigger emotion (anxiety, resentment, fight/flight) you can get an instant shit and distance from the emotion. Truly a gamechanger for navigating tough moments.

Reading Fiction

Nothing regulates my nervous system like getting lost in a good book. The escapism, the immersion, the way it pulls you into another world and into someone else’s problems. For me, it’s one of the simplest and most underrated forms of self-care, and been a lifelong coping mechanism when being in my own head is too much. Combined with a hot water bottle and you have a one-two punch for taking things down a notch. I’ve been loving:

Fantasy for full blown escapsim (currently a Sarah J Maas cult follower)
Cosy crime as a way to enjoy the fun of a whodunnit without the anxious suspense
Beach reads like Elin Hildebrand whose writing seems effortless when it comes to making up an engaging story.

Bath Rituals

Hot water. Candles. Bath bombs. The kind of deep relaxation that makes you feel like you’ve momentarily stepped into a Jane Austen novel.

I was listening to psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Tara Swart on the Rise with Roxie podcast earlier (linked above), and she mentioned the science behind baths—they lower cortisol and have the same oxytocin-boosting effect as a hug from a loved one!

Questions? Need more recommendations? Have recs of your own? Please let me know what your go-to’s so we can all add some new tools into our kit!